Responses to Classmates' Nonfiction Essays 4/7
Ryan’s Essay
“Guilt trips”
I really enjoyed reading this essay. Ryan does a great job of conveying how the trips to her grandmother were not just “guilt trips” but “guilt treks.” The physical imagery and characterization in this essay is great: I could completely visualize her mother steering the wheel with her knees while she “smeared her lipstick on,” and I could smell the vanilla that hit her in the face when she walked into her grandmother’s house. I also really like how Ryan interweaves religious language and a sense of religious guilt into the text, using such language as “nuns,” “penance,” “self-loathing,” “pity,” and “salvation.” This adds a really interesting element. The italicized internal monologue on page three gives a strong sense of self-chastisement. This goes right along with the theme of guilt; Ryan also conveys very well that there is a mixture of guilt with annoyance. This finally results in letting her grandmother “get her own cookie.” A little bit of proofreading might need to be done, but other than that, great essay!
Mary Lynn’s Essay
This essay was really fun and refreshing to read. I like this sort of stream-of-consciousness approach; it is different form everyone else’s and entertaining to read. I think that through her humor Mary Lynn does get across some truth about the difficulty inherent in relationships and how it all seems like a game at times. Although this essay is absolutely hilarious, some of its essence is lost with the lack of punctuation. If things were structured differently, the effect would be a lot stronger. Also, some proofreading needs to be done. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this essay, and I love the Golden Girls reference at the end!
Scott S.’s Essay
“Only the Best can be Served”
Scott does a great job is this essay of conveying what it is like to work in a restaurant. I have never worked in one, but after reading this I have a clear idea of the careful balance that must occur for chaos not to break forth from all of the stress. Scott’s discussion of gossip is very interesting as he describes a necessary sort of duality that must go on in the restaurant—the servers must have the opportunities to rant and rave in the back so that they can be polite and all-smiles out on the floor. The introduction to this essay is very effective because it focuses on the food, the whole reason for the existence of the restaurant, and using this as a way to introduce the servers and other workers of the restaurant. The essay reads methodically and cogently; he transitions well into each new focus. I like how Scott explains his feelings upon beginning work at the restaurant and how he slowly realizes the true nature of the job. There are a lot of creative similes and a strong command of language in this essay, as well. I enjoyed reading it. Great job!
